Ramblings and musings from northeast Texas...

Remembering Byron Black 6-25-67 - 3-25-2007

2007-05-12T08:27:00.000-05:00

2007-05-12T08:12:00.001-05:00

Clean is the autumn wind,
Splendid the autumn moon,
The blown leaves are heaped and scattered,
The ice-cold raven starts from its roost.
Dreaming of you - when shall I see you again?
On this night sorrow fills my
heart.
~Li Po (701-762)

2007-05-06T20:20:00.000-05:00

It's been six weeks today that I have been a widow. What a word...widow. I looked up the word in the dictionary because I still have such difficulty comprehending the fact that I am alone.

I have to say that this part of the definition is the one that describes me the most. Yes, I have lost my husband by death and have not remarried, but the words of this part really ring true..."to deprive of anything cherished or needed." I feel physically ill sometimes just thinking of how much I miss him and how much I need him. I can't even really find the words to express how much emptiness and sadness I feel most of the time.

I am coping, so don't think I'm falling off the deep end or anything. I just am so alone and sad. I am working with my doctor and we have my depression and sleeplessness under control (somewhat) and I am going to a grief support group twice a month...those have really helped me and they have helped the boys. I keep waiting and hoping for some magical day to arrive where I really feel "better." I don't think it's going to happen, though. I will keep hoping for it though...hope is something I never want to give up. I've given up so much that if I let hope go, all will be lost.

2007-04-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

I received what I believe to be a "message" over the weekend, though not from Byron. My grandmother, whom I lost in 1995, wanted me to know she was watching over me and helping me through this time of grief, and I believe she truly is. If you're up to reading, I'll tell you about it (I'll try to make it short as possible).

When I was 10 years old, my grandmother gave me her St. Christopher's medal which she had worn since she was about 10 or so. I treasured it and wore it every day. When I was 13, our house burned down and we lost everything we owned...except through some miracle, a little ceramic jewelry box survived, and inside was my St. Christopher's medal, which also survived largely intact (albeit with some charred edges). I still carried the medal around with me in my wallet, through college and dating Byron, and up until I had my first child. Sometime after André was born in 1994, the medal disappeared. I had no idea where it was or where I might have lost it. I can't count the time I have spent looking for it. When Nanny died in 1995, I was so devistated since I couldn't find the medal, the only thing I had of hers.

Fast forward to this past weekend. André was out of town, so the two little ones decided to play in the yard with his metal detector, which is a toy one from Target and cost all of $15 bucks. It's not a good one. ;) Anyway, at some point Saturday morning, Clay comes running in the house yelling, "I found a pirate coin!" He handed me this muddy chunk and I wiped it off, and nearly passed out. IT WAS MY ST. CHRISTOPHER MEDAL, charred edges and all. I got chill bumps, I cried, I screamed. I had been having a particularly bad day, and really feeling down, and I think this was a message from Nanny that she was watching us, protecting us all the time and that she knew I was hurting and wanted me to feel better. Yep, I believe in signs. Do you?

2007-04-22T17:56:00.000-05:00

It's been four weeks today...in some ways I can't believe it's been that long, and in others it seems like an eternity. Time is so fluid and intangible...right now it's as if we are in a vacuum and everything is suspended in some strange continuum. The boys seem to be adjusting well; they play with their friends and do normal kid things without much thought. We went to the Jubilee (a fair/carnival thing) yesterday and had a good time, and the kids rode rides and played games and got to be "normal" for a while. The younger two ask questions occasionally, or mention things like, "I wish Daddy was here to do this," or "I miss Daddy." André talks to me a little bit about how he feels, which is good. He also talks to his friends, his uncle Jason, and his counselor. We all will go back to Journey of Hope (the grief support group) on Thursday, and I look forward to that. We went to church this morning, and I saw some friends of ours who miss Byron as much as we do. It's good to be around people who care.

I had a dream the other night that Byron called me on my cell phone. He used to call me about a dozen times a day, so that made sense to me. In the dream, he called and was talking to me about how he missed me and the boys, and how he is OK and loves us very much. He wanted to make sure we were all right and for us to know he was sorry he wasn't here. It was very comforting. I told my sister about the dream, and she had dreamed nearly the same thing. Isn't that neat? I think he was telling us that he is OK. Of course, I know he's OK because I know he is in heaven. He was right with God and had been for a long while. I think he's looking on us now, trying to help us through this as much as he can. I know we need him.

2007-04-19T18:34:00.000-05:00

The weather today is beautiful...Byron would say "Perfect!" I only wish he was here. I feel like I'm treading water, with no shoreline in sight. It's a very dense fog, and I'm just lost in it. If I had only known that night would be the last time I could hear him say "I love you," I would have lingered in the hug a little longer...kissed him a little longer. I have slept with one of his shirts every night since he passed, simply because it smells like him and seems to comfort me in some tiny way. I had no idea I could miss someone so much and hurt so badly. I am trying to be strong for the boys, because they need me to be sane and calm and in control...but it's so very, very hard to do. The days are long, and the nights are miserable and practically endless. I want to cry so much, but it's as if my body is drained of tears and can't make any more. I'm mostly numb, just wishing for some kind of feeling other than the infinite loneliness I experience every day. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I keep hearing that this will get better, so I have faith...I'm just waiting.

2007-04-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

The boys and I have slowly returned to school and work, hoping to glean a bit of normalcy out of life as we know it now. Normal...what a foreign word to me. Nothing seems normal at all anymore. Even in the simple and mundane things, like going to the grocery store or helping one of the kids with his homework...there is no more normal. I don't find myself sobbing or weeping all day long anymore; those feelings have been replaced with a mind-altering numbness and an overwhelming sense of emptiness that nothing seems to fill.

I've signed us up for a grief support group that meets every other week. We begin on Thursday. The boys are also seeing their counselors at school on a regular basis, which is a blessing since I know each of these women very well and would trust my children with any of them and know they will truly listen to them.

I did break down and visit my physician's office last Friday to get some help with sleeping...it's still very difficult to fall asleep, and even more difficult to stay asleep longer than about 45 minutes at a time. Hopefully with her help I can get my sleep cycle more regulated and be worth a little more to my family and my employer.

Thanks to each of you for your kind regards, your private messages, and your prayers.

2007-03-31T20:13:00.000-05:00

No matter where I turn in this house, I can't escape the torrent of 17 years of memories that flood my mind. I see him everywhere. I suppose that should be comforting, but I find that all I feel is a raw, overwhelming emptiness. I found myself at one point today trying to hide out in the bathroom just for a few moments of sanity - but realized his toothbrush was still in the holder by the sink and fell apart yet again.

I really need your help right now...

2007-03-31T20:06:00.000-05:00

I have tried to think of ways to help sort this whole surreal event out in my mind, and it was suggested to me by my pastor to reach out for strength. I am asking for your prayers, if you are a person of faith, or your positive energy, if you have alternate beliefs.

On Sunday morning, March 25, at 7:23 am, I found the love of my life unresponsive, blue, and cold in our bed. He had passed during the night sometime, while we were sleeping. I found myself in some strange fog, calling 911 and performing CPR until paramedics and a physician arrived. The doctor, who had left his shift at the hospital and was on his way home when he heard the call, came to me while the paramedics were working and told me that "this was not going to be a successful resuscitation." Those words didn't register in my mind. I begged him to try everything he could, so they took him to the hospital and tried for over an hour to save him. There was no hope...and the doctor came out to explain to me and my three children that he was gone.

I cannot in a million years imagine how I am going to spend the rest of my life without him. He has been there for me for so long that I don't remember life before he was there. This has been an unimaginably hard week, and every minute I think it might get the slightest bit easier, something happens and I see him...I hear a song, or smell something familiar...it's just so hard to even breathe sometimes. I have cried until I think I can't make any more tears. There are just no words that can explain why a 39 year old man's heart would stop in the night. I am so angry...and lost...and forever broken.

I keep trying to be as strong as possible for the boys, but it is so hard. They're handling this better than I expected, but that's the beauty of the resiliency of children. Our oldest is much more acutely aware of the depth of this loss, as he and his dad have truly been best friends.

We have a wonderful network of extended family, friends, and church members who have come out en masse to comfort and assist in every way possible...but nothing is filling this gaping hole in my soul. At this point, I cannot ever imagine it being filled again. After days of constant activity, and people coming and going from my house, I find myself alone with my thoughts this evening. Please help me understand why this has happened...and how I can get through the rest of my life without him.

2007-03-14T13:59:00.000-05:00

Three week-old kittens...is anything cuter?

2007-03-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

J.P. and I visited with LP (Loud Pup) today...she's such a pretty dog, but looks so forlorn most of the time. She loves it when the kids pay attention to her. :)

2007-03-11T09:24:00.000-05:00

I took a few pictures of my 7 year-old yesterday while he was goofing around. I went a little overboard with the contrast and adding noise for effect, but it kind of fit the scene IMO. Do you think it's too much? My favorites are the first and last ones here...the bottom one for some reason makes me think of Norman Rockwell-esque kid paintings. As always, comments and critiques are welcome. :)

PS...he's doing well since the loss of our sweet doggie Peanut. I think having the baby kittens around has been helpful for us all. We're taking it day by day, and miss Peanut terribly...but those babies seem to help remind us that life goes on.

2007-03-05T22:58:00.000-06:00

I am having a really hard time right now...my sweet, beloved chihuahua Peanut was killed this evening after being hit by a car. We aren't sure how he got out of the house, but he did, and as always, ran to the middle of the road for no obvious reason. We are all just devistated. I've held it together for a few hours but now that the house is quiet and the boys are finally asleep, it's really hitting me that he's gone. It's ironic that I can teach coping skills to hundreds of students but now that it's time for me to cope with a loss I can't find a way to handle it. I have many sweet memories of this crazy little dog and nothing will ever replace him in my heart or the hearts of my little boys. I think that's the hardest part for me, is helping them to deal with this loss. They're just completely heartbroken and it kills me to see them hurting so badly. I thought it might make me feel better to post a few pictures i have taken of him over the past three and a half years, but looking at them is really hard for me to do right now. I am glad that the kids didn't witness the event, and that Peanut didn't suffer or even know what hit him...but I do have faith that the idiot blazing down our road at jet speed gets what Karma has to offer him someday.

Rest in peace, little buddy...

2007-03-04T18:54:00.000-06:00

Today was the 83rd anniversary of the church we've been attending for the past several months. There was a wonderful service, then a yummy bbq dinner, and the grand finale was a HUGE concert. The music followed the past 83 years of the church and was enjoyed by the young and the young at heart. :)

I wanted to add this story I received in an email from a colleague. Enjoy!

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly."What's that?" came the pastor's reply."This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say."That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked."Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from there on out, I have always done so. I have also, always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement.'In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming ... like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?". Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork .. the best is yet to come." The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye.He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She knew that something better was coming.At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her.The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.He was right.So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.

Game 4 - 3-3-07

2007-03-03T19:10:00.000-06:00

Go Patriots!!! We won today, 6-2. It was an awesome game and the boys were firing on all cylinders today! Congrats guys!!! :)

2007-03-03T09:28:00.000-06:00

Byron and I are creating a video yearbook for a private school in Plano (Great Lakes Academy). Here are a few snaps from the faculty-student basketball game last night. The students won, 45-44, at the buzzer. :)

2007-02-25T17:42:00.000-06:00

The babies...day 6.

2007-02-18T18:16:00.000-06:00

My neighbor's dog...we call her LP. That's short for Loud Pup. She can bark for HOURS at a time nonstop. We can't stay mad at her though, because she's so sweet and cute. :)

GHS Mane Event Talent Show 2-15-07

2007-02-17T17:53:00.000-06:00

2007-02-16T17:32:00.000-06:00

2007-02-11T15:28:00.000-06:00

The HFMS tennis team competed in their first tourney yesterday morning. André won his first match but was eliminated in the next round. He was one of two from their team to advance into the 2nd round. The team overall placed 2nd in Singles. Way to go for your first try, team!!! :)

Patriots Spring Soccer 2007 - Game 1

2007-02-11T15:23:00.000-06:00

The boys played their first soccer game of the spring season yesterday...man it was COLD! They were all bundled up as much as possible, and the parents were all popsicles! I took about 60 pictures, but here are ten I liked a lot. :)

2007-02-02T22:29:00.000-06:00

Self-portrait of me at work today...boring but what the heck...I was having a good lipstick day. ;)

2007-01-28T13:47:00.000-06:00

Shots from the bowling alley yesterday...J.P. and Clay celebrated their 8th and 7th birthdays together. Watching 7 and 8 year olds bowl is like watching cats ice skate. ;)

2007-01-12T22:29:00.000-06:00

More of the video shoot...let me know when you're tired of these pictures. ;)

2007-01-10T20:31:00.000-06:00

Sorry for not posting the story behind these shots earlier...it's been more than crazy the past few days. These were shots I took during a video shoot for a public service announcement and ad campaign for local police, fire, EMT, and care flight services. The ads will air locally (and perhaps regionally) to promote some community events and our local "Hero Card" program, which is trading cards with our local fire/police/emt/care flight people on them...it's a youth and community program that helps the kids get to know who they can trust to help them and to also get the community involved with the various public safety and service entities. These particular shots were from the fire station, and the child (my own J.P.) wasn't in danger...it was lit with red and blue gels and we used a fog machine for the smoke. :)

2007-01-09T19:40:00.000-06:00

2007-01-08T09:27:00.000-06:00

Paul Harvey says:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution. Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game. But it's a Christian prayer, some will argue. Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect-somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer.

If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha.

And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit. When in Rome, etc.

But what about the atheists? That is another argument. What about them?
Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer! Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations. Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating; to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

God, help us...

And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast majority don't care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It's time we tell them, you don't have to pray; you don't have to say the pledge of allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right. But by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back ... and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all .... especially those who denounce Him. God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all. God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.

May 2007 be the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions.

Keep looking up.

2007-01-07T19:35:00.000-06:00

All I can say about today's shoot is...oh yeah. ;)

2007-01-06T13:04:00.000-06:00

Some shots from yesterday and today... enjoy! :)

2007-01-02T17:29:00.000-06:00

It was frosty this morning, and driving in to work I saw these horses and deer in the pasture and HAD to take a few quick snaps. :)

The lights in my life!

2007-01-01T22:16:00.000-06:00

My little snuggle bunnies...aren't they cute! :)

2007-01-01T16:31:00.000-06:00

The last sunset of 2006... I captured it while driving home yesterday from visiting my mom and my sisters. It's not very often that we are all together so I took a few snaps. Diane is the oldest, born in 1954. Denese was next, born in 1956. I came along last in 1969. We also have a brother, born in 1950, but he lives very far away and we don't see him much at all anymore. Mom lives with Denese and her family in Wilmer. I drove to Emory to pick up Diane and her granddaughter, Allison (bottom picture). We then headed off to Wilmer and back. It's a long drive but I'm glad we got to visit together.

The Girls...

2006-12-30T21:42:00.000-06:00

Lilly and Sugar...they are definitely the queens around here. At least I'm not so outnumbered any more. ;)

Merry Christmas!!!!

2006-12-29T15:03:00.000-06:00

2006-12-10T19:13:00.000-06:00

A few Christmas images from tonight...enjoy!! :)

2006-12-02T20:27:00.000-06:00

A few from San Antonio...I attended a conference Wed. - Fri. and had a few moments to shoot between/after session. What a beautiful place. I think it's my favorite place to visit in Texas. :)

2006-11-25T17:48:00.000-06:00

I had a wonderful opportunity to shoot maternity portraits for a young couple today. I had never tried it before and was glad to get the experience. She's due in 10 days so I doubt I have the opportunity to reshoot but I think they'll be pleased with the results. As always, comments are appreciated. :)

2006-11-24T10:04:00.000-06:00

A few from Thanksgiving at my sister's house...these are pictures of some of her grandkids, kids, in-laws, as well as a picture of her and her husband. We had a big, impromptu family portrait session. All her children and grandchildren were there, as well as her husband's parents, so it was a great day. The food was awesome too. Of course, I snuck in a pic of my boys and there is actually a family portrait of us together. ;)

2006-11-18T21:14:00.000-06:00

2006-11-18T08:54:00.000-06:00

J.P. is playing basketball now that soccer is over with...he's on a team called the Bulls and these are some shots from their third practice. He's really enjoying it. I think he's a natural! :)

2006-11-12T18:17:00.000-06:00

Favorites from this weekend. :)

2006-11-07T20:02:00.000-06:00

Just trying something new with the kids. :)

2006-11-06T17:48:00.000-06:00

Things I saw on the way home today...great storm brewing, excellent light and color...it's such a joy to live in Texas. :)

2006-11-04T19:43:00.000-06:00

A few images from the end-of-season soccer party today. :)

2006-11-03T18:29:00.000-06:00

Four of the millions of reasons to love Texas in the fall. :)

2006-11-02T22:07:00.000-06:00

Things I found interesting today. :)

Patriots - Last Game of the Season 10-28-2006

2006-10-29T16:47:00.000-06:00

Cutie Patooties!

2006-10-27T18:05:00.000-05:00

Some of the pretty little faces I get to see every day! :)

2006-10-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

Randomness from the game tonight. Challenge entry included so don't look if that bothers you. :)

Random Railroad Shots

2006-10-22T20:23:00.000-05:00

Beware...challenge entry somewhere above. :)

Patriots Soccer 10-21-2006

2006-10-22T07:50:00.000-05:00

2006-10-19T05:46:00.000-05:00

André and his HFMS Honor Band, Concert Band, and Wind Band all performed at the 8th grade football game on Tuesday night. Here are a few snaps of the percussion section in action. They all sounded great and I was very proud! :)

2006-10-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

Last night was "Kennedy Productions" night at the boys' elementary school. Each class performed plays, skits, songs, and poetry, and the performers got awards. They were treated to a red carpet entrance, interviews on the red carpet, a spotlight, and lots of community member "fans" coming out in droves to watch the performances. It was most definitely an awesome night and the boys, looking handsome as could be, LOVED being a part of the show. You see in the pictures above the boys in their "Sunday best" as well as their principal and assistant principal, who are both wonderful women and colleagues, and truly love to help children succeed. Way to go, JFK Elementary and way to go, J.P. and Clay!! :)

Game Day 10-14-2006

2006-10-14T21:13:00.000-05:00

2006-10-11T19:44:00.000-05:00

The game yesterday... J.P. playing; J.P. and his teammates listening to the coach during halftime, and the cloudy sky that crept up on us towards the end of the game. The Patriots lost, but they played tough and hard and are always showing improvement. Way to go! :)

2006-10-08T11:30:00.000-05:00

New pics with my new camera, the Kodak P880. Awesome little piece of equipment!!! :) So is my OTHER new toy, my Chrysler Sebring! :)

RIP, Annie

2006-09-18T19:03:00.000-05:00

Our former governor Ann Richards passed away last week. What a tough lady. She was definitely one of my heroines. Quick and sharp witted, yet smooth as butter...she could certainly tell folks "how the cow ate the cabbage." I think she was exactly what Texas needed at the time, and is most definitely what we need now. I don't think anyone can come near holding a candle to her politically or personally (well, maybe Kinky can, we'll see).

What a grand lady Texas has lost. She was one of the few Democrats I've ever voted for and I had the utmost respect for her. I had the sincere pleasure of interviewing her for our campus TV station back in my undergrad days, and I found two of the few pictures I have of that day. I wanted to share, even though they aren't the grandest of images (technically speaking). I will miss her wit and her candor, and I hope that everyone can appreciate the legacy she leaves behind...blazing a bigger trail for women and minorities in government and making Texas a better place to live.

By the way, one of my all-time favorite "Richardisms" was this one from the Democratic National Convention a while back, while poking a little fun at George W. Bush:
"Poor George, he can't help it...he was born with a silver foot in his mouth." ;)

Remembering 9/11

2006-09-11T20:05:00.000-05:00

I was working at a middle school as the lead counselor, and had just reported to work at about 7:30 am. My husband was working for Dallas' ABC affiliate WFAA Channel 8 at the time...he was the chief editor for the morning show "Good Morning, Texas." He called my work at 7:48, just minutes after the first plane hit. He told me, "Go in the principal's office and turn on the TV NOW. Some plane just hit the WTC." I think we both thought it was some horrible accident, some light plane that was off course. I went in my principal's office and told him what was told to me, and we turned on the TV. We were watching it live when the 2nd plane hit. We were just horrified. Then, as we watched the news and the Pentagon was hit, we started wondering about what to do with this school full of 7th and 8th graders. Our superintendent called, and asked us to be sure that all the teachers kept their TVs off. Of course, that was next to impossible because every teacher was being informed of the horror by cell phone. We went room to room, trying to keep everyone calm and turning off TVs when we found them on, but it was just insane to try to keep them off. We then started fielding parent calls, and many parents came to pick their children up early. We had several students who had family in either NYC or at the Pentagon, and we had two teachers with parents or in-laws at the Pentagon. The students, overall, were remarkably calm and just sat in silence as the day's events played out. There were tears, mostly from faculty, and there was one moment, after flight 93 went down, when I had to go to my office alone for a while and cry. Normally quite stoic, I was pretty overwhelmed...but had to keep a brave face on for the students and for the teachers. I also took some time to call my mom and my sister, just to tell them I loved them.

I talked to my husband several times that day, and he said that the newsroom at channel 8 was just completely silent (very unusual) for a time. Then chaos ensued...and they were told that they might be working 24 hours shifts for a while depending on how things turned out. Thankfully that didn't happen, but there were some 18 hour days over the next week or so.

One thing I remember most vividly is that when I arrived at work and was signing in at the front desk, the principal's son (a 7th grader at the campus) and I were talking about the odd date... 9-11...and wondered what emergency might happen since it was an emergency date. I still get emotional just thinking about that conversation, only minutes before the first plane hit.

2006-09-09T12:42:00.000-05:00

Today J.P. had his first soccer game...his team, the Patriots, played the Scorpions. Unfortunatel, the Scorpians' game had quite a sting. We lost 15-1, but the one goal we did get was scored by J.P.!!!! He was so excited...the pic at the top is him celebrating after the goal. It was a good experience for the kids because I think they learned a lot about the game today. Next week should be better. Go Patriots!!! :)

2006-09-03T21:22:00.000-05:00

2006-08-31T21:45:00.000-05:00

2006-08-27T20:06:00.000-05:00

Do these images have definable subjects?

The Karate Kids

2006-08-27T10:50:00.000-05:00


My son and his karate class...all are ages 4 and 5.

An Interview with a Star Wars Collector

2006-08-26T22:08:00.000-05:00


My son at age 3, being interviewed about his Star Wars collection.

2006-08-26T15:38:00.000-05:00

Doesn't this look like fun???? ;)

2006-08-25T20:50:00.000-05:00

The kitties today. :)

2006-08-22T20:21:00.000-05:00

My attempt at making rope look interesting... I don't think I did a very good job. My challenge entry is not one of these, btw, if you're curious. :)

2006-08-17T10:56:00.000-05:00

YIKES...it's early and already feels this hot? This must be today's sign of the apocalypse. :/

2006-08-15T20:00:00.000-05:00

First day of school...my babies are in 1st, 2nd, and 7th grades now. I'm old!!! :)

2006-08-10T19:34:00.000-05:00

My beautiful boys...they're the best thing about life. :)

I have a new favorite song by Mark Harris, and it's called "Find Your Wings." I cry every time I hear it and think of how special and how lucky I am to have three healthy kids, even when they make me want to pull out all of my hair.

You can hear the song and see the video at http://wmedia.buzzplant.com/content/ino/MarkHarris-FindYourWings.wmv and here are the lyrics:

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus:
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

Chorus:

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

Chorus

2006-08-07T18:40:00.000-05:00

A few random images I've shot and edited lately...enjoy. :)

2006-08-04T20:38:00.000-05:00

This roof access door was visible outside the window of Byron's hospital room today...I looked over there and it was opening, with a hand sticking out. I was freaked out until I realized it was an A/C repairman. I "creeped" up the image a little bit though, because I thought it was kind of cool. Glad I remembered to take my camera to the hospital today! :)

2006-07-26T16:10:00.000-05:00

Meet Sugar...the newest addition to the Black household. :)

2006-07-26T06:44:00.000-05:00

Couple of florals and a magazine cover design...just spreading my wings, so to speak. :)

2006-07-21T09:52:00.000-05:00

Mmmm...photographer...my favorite!!!!

2006-07-13T19:30:00.000-05:00

Something fishy was going on today! ;)

2006-07-09T14:07:00.000-05:00

A few more I worked up from yesterday's shoot...enjoy! :)

2006-07-08T14:25:00.000-05:00

Tigers from Pug-Mark Park this morning. WOW!!! :)

2006-07-07T19:43:00.000-05:00

Peanut and his daddy, acting silly today. :)

2006-07-06T16:07:00.000-05:00

Lilly earlier today...she's such a goofball! :)

2006-07-05T10:48:00.000-05:00

A few more from last night...tons more to edit though! :)

2006-07-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

Happy 4th! :)

2006-07-03T14:55:00.000-05:00

Here are 10 of the approximately 700 pictures I took this past week on our vacation to the Texas Hill Country (San Marcos-New Braunfels-Wimberley-San Antonio). Most are just family snaps but I really had fun with the boys, my man, and my sister. :)

2006-06-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

In a b/w mood lately I suppose...a few from today at the Heritage Garden. :)

2006-06-27T22:46:00.000-05:00

A series I worked up today... :)

2006-06-25T20:56:00.000-05:00

Some nature shots from today...enjoy the beauty around you! :)

2006-06-24T20:31:00.000-05:00

The younger two in the backyard tonight...I decided to dust off the ol' 75-300 IS USM tonight and snap a few. Not the greatest but I still think it's decent for the money. :)

2006-06-21T18:56:00.000-05:00

J.P. after losing BOTH front top teeth. :)

2006-06-14T14:03:00.000-05:00

Father and son, during a daily drum lesson. :)

2006-06-12T20:44:00.000-05:00

Snaggletooth...aka J.P. :) He's lost a front tooth and is SOOOOO cute! We picked him up yesterday and dropped off Clay at the grandma's house so this is our week with him alone. :)

2006-06-10T18:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry I didn't post yesterday...we've had company for the weekend and I was a little busy. My oldest sister, Diane, came to stay the weekend with us to visit and we've really enjoyed having her around. She was 17 when I was born, and practically raised me while our mom worked. I called her "Sissy" because I couldn't say Diane when I was a little tyke. She's always been there for me and I love her very much. The bottom picture is Byron with her at the park, and the top picture is Byron and Clay walking to the swings. We had a great day. :)

2006-06-08T20:34:00.000-05:00

OK, it's not really a shot of someone else, but I was shooting for "Shadow" and LOVED this outtake so I thought I'd use it. Sneaky!! :)

2006-06-07T20:48:00.000-05:00

Clay again...since the others are at Grandma's, you're stuck with his sweet little face. ;)

2006-06-06T23:13:00.000-05:00

Byron as he was painting one of his toys tonight.

2006-06-05T21:27:00.000-05:00

Do you believe in ghosts?

2006-06-04T15:37:00.000-05:00

A couple from today's visit to the park. Clay had a lot of fun, because J.P. and André are at their grandma's for the week...so he's got our undivided attention now. ;)

He'll go down there next weekend and J.P. will come home. She won't take all three of them at once. So much for mom and dad getting a complete break, but one is easier to deal with than three. :)

2006-06-03T19:24:00.000-05:00

Jeremy (middle image) and Christian (bottom image) came over to play video games with André today. These three have been friends for about the past 6 years and they are together a lot. Christian isn't around as often since he and his mom moved last year, but whenever he's in the neighborhood he comes by to spend time with the boys. They are a good group of kids and thye have a lot of fun together. :)

I had to add in the picture of Clay (top image) watching them play...he looks SOOO enthused. ;)

2006-06-02T11:30:00.001-05:00

Since the backyard worked so well, I thought I'd take a picture of André in it for today's post. :)

A new 30 in 30 project....portraits and candids of others!

2006-06-01T20:06:00.000-05:00

...and so begins another 30 in 30 project...this month will be a new portrait or candid photograph of any person other than me. Today I took a few pictures of my fiancé in my backyard. I processed a couple in a "normal" way and one with a more grunge-ish effect. I like how they turned out. :)

These were all shot with the 10D and the Tamron 28-75, using the Sigma 500 DG Super flash and the Lightsphere II. I believe the settings were ISO 400, f/4, shutter speed 1/60 (ish).